Cleaning Out The Junk That Stands Between You And Success

The HeadTrash Book

About the Authors

Tish Squillaro has more than 17 years experience advising executives in strategic planning, organizational dynamics and human capital allocation.

Timothy I. Thomas has helped to transform organizations working as a leadership development trainer, executive coach, and change management expert.

Watch the HeadTrash Videos

Why do executives get stuck? Why do leaders sometimes find themselves pushing hard but not gaining traction? Frequently it’s because they’re working against themselves, defeating their best efforts with their own problematical thoughts and emotions.

The HeadTrash BookWhat is HeadTrash?

In this book, we refer to thought patterns and emotional tendencies that hinder your ability to respond to business issues in a productive and professional way as HeadTrash. Put another way, HeadTrash is the negative voice of your subconscious, engaging you in a deadly inner dialogue that only you hear, consciously or subconsciously, but which affects everything you say and do and everyone around you. HeadTrash is any pattern of self-defeating feelings and thoughts that leads you into trouble and keeps you stuck there. Even worse, depending on your level of responsibility and authority, the rest of your team or company gets stuck, too.

Based on our work with thousands of leaders, we’ve discovered that different forms of leadership HeadTrash can produce similar symptoms in organizations and can often overlap. You will have to probe beyond symptoms to identify the form(s) of HeadTrash you need to address. The examples we offer will help you do that.

Everybody feels afraid, insecure, guilty, and so on from time to time. That’s normal. But when problematical thoughts and feelings become patterns in your life and consistently affect your decision-making and leadership behaviors, they’re HeadTrash that requires cleanup on your part. This book will show you how to change your behavior and make you a better leader – for yourself, your business, your employees and your family.


Contents

Introduction:
Getting Unstuck

Storm Warning: It’s Your Wake-Up Call … What Exactly Is HeadTrash? … HeadTrash Cocktails …It’s All Between Your Ears—Or Is It? … The Impact on You … The Impact on Your Employees … The Impact on Your Business … You Don’t Have to Stay Stuck…Case History: A New CEO Makes His First Big Decision…Two Requirements to Get Unstuck: Awareness and Willingness … Will This Really Work?…Our HeadTrash “Aha” Moment

Moving Forward Despite It

Fear versus Caution: Reflexive Flight versus Thoughtful Action … Fear of Making Decisions: “What if I’m Wrong?”… Fear of Speaking Up: “I can’t say THAT!” … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Fear Anecdote I—The non-results of the soft approach … A Fear Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Fear … No Decision is Usually the Worst Decision … Complacency and Your Competition … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Fear Anecdote II— Being nice is not always nice in the end … Re: Fear— From the Desks of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Fear

Climbing Down from
Your High Horse

Ego versus Egomania … Arrogance: The personal blind spot others can’t miss … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Arrogance Anecdote I—Silence is Golden …Arrogance from the Inside: Seek Honestly, and Ye Shall Find … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Arrogance Anecdote II — Before and after… An Arrogance Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Arrogance … Turning A-players into B-players: Invisible Demotions and Dismissals … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Arrogance Anecdote III—The unenthusiastic staff … The Arrogance Trap: Do You Really Want to Do It All? … Stunted Growth … Symptoms of an Arrogant Leader … Arrogance versus Confidence … Re: Arrogance—From the desk of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Arrogance


Respecting Yourself
(For a Change)

Standard Office Operating Procedure for the Insecure: Avoid, Delay, Prolong, Dodge … What Insecure people say to themselves … FBI: Five Fatal Behaviors of the Insecure … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Insecurity Anecdote I—Variations on a theme… Caution versus Doubt: The difference seems subtle; the results are glaring! … An Insecurity Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Insecurity …How Do Insecure People Become Leaders? Sheer Determination and Resilience … Re: Insecurity— From the desk of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Insecurity … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Insecurity Anecdote II—The man in the mirror

Letting Go and Learning to Delegate and Collaborate

Good Control versus Bad Control … Symptoms of Control HeadTrash in the Office … Types of Controlling Personalities … Six Sigma and the Control Freak … A Control Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Control … Juggling China versus Juggling Tupperware … Good Leaders Make It Look Easy … Re: Control—From the desks of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Control … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Control Anecdote—One size does not fit all

No Longer Crossing the Line

Appropriate Anger versus Destructive Rage …Symptoms of an Angry Leader … Four Primary Types of Anger … The Five Real Sources of Anger—They’re Not What You Think … HeadTrash Cocktail: Anger with a Control Chaser … An Anger Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Anger … Recognizing the Extremes of Anger: Spontaneous Combustions and Time Bombs … Angry Leaders Inspire Fear, Fair Leaders Inspire Loyalty … Re: Anger— From the desks of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Anger … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Anger Anecdote—A ticking time bomb


Sheathing the
Double-Edged Sword

A Two-Headed Monster: Inflicting Guilt, Feeling Guilt … Feeling Guilt versus Offering Compassion … Symptoms of Guilt-Ridden Leaders … Symptoms of Guilt-Inflicting Leaders … The Far-Reaching Effects of Misplaced Guilt: Five Examples of Unproductive Pain… A Guilt Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Guilt … Beware the Guilt Boomerang: Failed maneuvers take you from one side of guilt to the other … Re: Guilt—From the desk of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Guilt … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Guilt Anecdote—Friendship gets in the way

Replacing Anxiety and Suspicion with Confidence and Trust

Paranoia versus Insecurity: I doubt you versus I doubt myself … Paranoia: The distorted lens that taints everything … Two Types of Paranoid Responses: I do everything; I do nothing … Symptoms of a Paranoid Leader … Paranoia at work: Undermining success in so many ways … Hyperactivity versus Productivity … A Paranoia Checklist and Comparison … HeadTrash Alert! A Quick Quiz on Paranoia … Re: Paranoia—From the desks of … Recommendations for Overcoming the HeadTrash of Paranoia … Behind the Scenes with Tish & Tim: Paranoia Anecdote—The reality check

Conclusion:
When HeadTrash Is No Longer the Boss of You